Sunday, September 23, 2012

Goodnight Moon, I love you...

I mentioned in my last post that Eli has become a sleeping star over the last week.  In the last 7 days, he's gotten up in the night ONE night, ONE time.  But that doesn't include tonight.

Tonight, about 2 hours after going down, he woke up.  We knew he wasn't hungry, but were confused as to why he was so stinkin mad.  Well, after about 5 - 10 minutes, JP went in.  The verdict:  a dirty diaper.  Our kiddo hate, hate, HATES a messy diaper.  Always has.  So we realized that's why he'd woken up and daddy changed him.  However, the other thing about Eli is he gets soooooo mad about being awake when he's tired and should be sleeping.  So, after the diaper change, he continued to be super cranky - NOTHING would calm him down.

Well, even though it wasn't bedtime, I decided to try what's been working.  I grabbed "old faithful" (aka we read "Goodnight Moon").  Eli LOVES Goodnight Moon (thanks Sol and Andres!).  That and Big Red Barn are two bedtime favorites.  It's funny, some books make Eli crazy.  He tries to turn the pages and slam the book shut, or just sort of wiggles about.  Goodnight Moon is like a darn tranquilizer!  It settles him down. every. single. time.  So, we read the book, I told him goodnight and laid him in his crib.

And, just like that, before I could get to the monitor, the kid was asleep.

Thank you Goodnight Moon.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Eli update (sleeping, eating and MOVING)

Eli is doing really really well and I am so thankful.  I feel like I've got my sweet darling baby back!

Sleep Uppdate
Last week, Eli was still struggling with his ridiculous sleep issues (fighting sleep soooooo bad, and then waking up like 6 times a night).  On top of being lonely and homesick, I was exhausted from battling a baby about sleep all. day. and all. night.

This week, he's like a different kid.  He's slept 11-12 hours the 4 nights out of the past 5.  He's going down for naps like a champ.  Sometimes, he doesn't cry at all, but when he does it lasts anywhere from 30 seconds to 2-3 minutes - max.  I'm thankful that a few little changes (getting back to diligence about his bedtime/naptime, starting a more consistent routine, letting him have his "lovey" to sleep with, etc) seemed to do the trick.  We also started waking him up if he slept too long for a nap, or, the hardest, if he slept past 7:30 in the morning.  Even though it was/is hard to not enjoy it and sleep in ourselves, getting him up by 7:30 makes soooo much difference for keeping his naps in check.  (And, when he goes to bed around 7 at night, he wakes up happy when we go in to get him).  When we let him sleep too late, he becomes a little mess.

Together, JP and I decided that extinction method of cry it out just wasn't for us.  I had considered the "No Cry Sleep Solution", but a lot of the reviews said it encouraged rocking to sleep and gently placing in the crib, cosleeping, etc.  We had an Arm's Reach cosleeper in our room for the first 4 months, which we loved, but we weren't really interested in cosleeping and we wanted our son to develop the ability to put himself to sleep.  We decided to look into the "Goodnight Sleep Tight:  The Sleep Lady Shuffle" book.  I only really read the info on the good habits to have in place before sleep training and decided to do make sure we doing all those things for a week, and have it on a log before starting training.  I am grateful that we didn't have to even do the "shuffle" part after we tweaked some of these things!  I'm happy to have my sleeper back, and to not be fighting battles with him day and night.

Eating
Eli is still on mostly purees, which is his preference.  I make them all homemade and we are gradually introducing in some textures (ie. quinoa, chicken, egg, etc), but he only eats these things if they're mixed in with other things.  He's SUCH a great eater - he will still eat anything except avocado.  Some new things he's tried recently include cauliflower and quinoa - both of which have been hits.  He usually eats some yogurt, oatmeal and fruit for breakfast, and a few veggies with a protein for dinner.  We're only on two meals still, which his doctor was fine with.  When I eat lunch, I give him some Baby Mum Mums, which he loves.

He is also still nursing.  He usually nurses 4 times a day (approximately 7, 11, 3 and 6:45ish).  If he wakes in the night around 3, I feed him, but that rarely happens these days.  He seems to have dropped that on his own.  People still ask me sometimes when I plan to stop nursing him and the answer remains - when we're ready.  I'm guessing it'll be a while past a year.  We'll see.

Mobility
He is still crawling all over the place, and standing up all the time.  He can now go to standing even without pulling up on something.  He can stand using the wall or a window - just using them to steady himself as he gets up.  He has also started this ridiculously precious thing where he follows me when I leave a room.  Yesterday we were in his room playing and I changed his diaper.  I walked to his bathroom to put it in the pail and he crawled right behind me, into the bathroom.  It was so stinkin cute. He also loves to chase Ollie all over the apartment, which is similarly precious.  Those two are going to be good pals :).

He will also crawl over to me, or up into my lap when he is tired (or, if I'm sitting on a chair he crawls over and reaches up to me).  Once in my lap he squirms and fusses a little bit, looking at me as if to say "Mommy, fix me."  I know that means he needs a nap, so we start the sleep routine (paci in, read a book or two, noise machine on, rock for 2-3 min while I sing or pray with him, put in the crib while he's still awake).

I love that things are going so well with him.  In other news, we went to our first MOPS meeting yesterday and are having a playdate with someone from the group next Tuesday.  I am soooo excited.  It's been lonely here and I'm really looking forward to making some friends.






Friday, September 14, 2012

Charlotte Week 1 Recap

So, I've been in Charlotte about a week and a half, but tomorrow marks one week of it being "just the three of us" here in our own apartment.  I don't think I'm being dramatic when I say it's been the hardest week I can remember in a long time.  For someone who has never lived more than 30 minutes from her hometown and family, this is a big deal.  I thought I'd document some of the good (because, there IS good in this) and the bad of the experience so far.

In order to end on a good note, let's start with the bad:

- It is SOOOOO hard to be a stay at home mom in a brand new city, especially when your husband is an insanely busy graduate student.  Not only are most of my days spent with a 9 month old and a dog, my nights are lonely too.  Two nights this week, the hubs didn't get home until after midnight (stupid A-school deadlines) and the nights he was here, he was slammed with reading and assignments, so it was still pretty lonely.  I want to hold up a sign that says "will work for friends" or something.  It's so sad.

-  I don't love my apartment.  It's fine, and I like the inside a lot, but the location isn't my favorite, and I'm not thrilled to be in an apartment again.  Still, I'm trying to be thankful for what I have, which is a wonderful opportunity to be home with my son.  Contentment is a hard thing sometimes - I'm working on it.

The good:

- A lot of the people in this area are different from me.  Racially, age wise, life stage, etc.  I was in a grocery store the other day where I'm pretty sure was the only white girl.  This is challenging me to step out of my comfort zone and get to know people who might not be just like me.  Speaking of which, at a Weight Watchers meeting today, this almost sixty year old lady invited me to go to a Zumbathon with her next week at the YMCA (1 hr of water zumba (who knew such a thing existed) and an hour of regular zumba).  In Charlottesville, I probably would have passed, I'd have "better things to do" or my own friends to hang out with.  Most likely, I'm going to go - not like I have a full social calendar.

- I'm not there yet, honestly, but I see the potential for a lot of dependence on God, and letting him be enough.  I also see the possibility for a ton of growth in my ability to love and serve my husband and family.  I have more time and we have our own place - I can keep it clean(ish), make yummy and healthy meals, do laundry, etc. and try to keep all of those things off my husband's plate (which, I struggled with a lot when I was teaching).  So, depend on God, love and serve my family and try to make relationships with others - that's the opportunity here.

- There is a Trader Joes less than 2 miles from my house, and in the same shopping center is a frozen yogurt place.  And today, they had a "fill a 12 oz cup with yogurt/toppings for $1" deal going on.  So, I went to the grocery store and got yogurt and it made. my. day.  Sometimes, it's the little things.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Eli is fighting sleep.... and he's winning.

I can't think of anything in life more humbling than being a parent.  Currently, being a wife and a momma is my full time job, and don't get me wrong, I love it.  However, even though there is no job in the world I'd rather do, on days like today, I can't help thinking I stink at it.

Eli is suffering from what is sometimes referred to as 8-10 month old sleep regression.  He used to sleep beautifully.  If you read his 8 month update, you'll remember that he was putting himself down for all naps and at bedtime, and was sleeping through the night (12 hrs!) with a maximum of one time getting up.  It was glorious.

Well, we've been in transition for a while - living at my parents, house sitting for my sister, camping with the fam, JP being at school in Charlotte two weeks without us, staying with friends for two days, and then having an apartment full for a few nights.  In short, it's been nuts.  And sometime in all this craziness, my sweet little angel of a sleeper has turned into a little night and naptime monster.

He WILL NOT go to sleep on his own, ever, and most nights he's waking up a ton.  I think it's a bit of separation anxiety.  He FREAKS every single time we put him in his crib.  A lot of people have told us to try letting him cry it out, which, I'll be honest, isn't my preference.  However, a couple of times, I've HAD to leave him crying, because I've gotten to a point of complete desperation, not knowing what else to do.  Even still, my smartypants son figured a way out it.  What did he do?  Start banging his head against the side of the crib, knowing perfectly well his momma wouldn't be able to stand that and would come to his rescue.  Gah!

We've been working on sleep HARD for the past two days - mostly trying to get him back in a good routine with an appropriate quantity of sleep.  I want to make sure he's at least well rested, getting his two naps and a good amount of nighttime sleep, before we start working on him getting himself to sleep on his own again.  Well, for whatever reason, he's decided that he'll only go to sleep for his daddy.  Seriously, I can. not. get that child to go to sleep.

So, JP has successfully gotten him to go down the past few naps and at bedtime last night.  Praise the Lord, he slept from 7:30pm - 6am last night, and it was amazing.  He also took a nice, two hour nap this morning once JP got him down.  However, JP's had to go to school this afternoon.  And Eli HAS to be able to sleep for me.  But he won't.

It was about time for his afternoon nap.  I snuggled him up, and we went into his room.  With just a little lamp by his bookshelf, we read a few books, and then I rocked him and sang a bit.  After a bit of all this, I decided to put him down.  He screamed for 5 minutes, but then stopped and only made sounds every few minutes.  Then, even those stopped.  I started feeling pretty good, thinking I'd won the battle, and went to peak in on him.  He was sitting up playing away in his crib - no sign of sleep at all.

I decided to let him be - he was happy and maybe he'd play himself to sleep.  NOPE.  He proceeded to get super angry after a while, and made a colossal fuss.  After a while, I went in, tried to console him, and eventually we resorted to nursing.  I was convinced that this, even though it may be considered "breaking the rules" would calm him enough to go to sleep.  Nope.  He finished and then started the throw a fit again, rocking didn't work, so back into the crib he went.  Now, he's whining/playing/taunting me and making me feel like a terrible and incompetent mother who can't get her kid to sleep.

AHHHH.  On days like today I just want to run away, let someone else come in and "fix things" and come back once things are neat, orderly and running smoothly in my household.

Except then, Eli will probably be in college and I'll have missed his whole life.

So, instead of wishing for someone to take away my problems, I will stay and attempt to do the work myself.  I'll beg the Lord for strength and patience and wisdom, and pray like crazy.  I'm not sure what else to do....